My Biggest Fears

My Biggest Fears

We are all scared of something, and some of us are scared of somethings. I think I lot of the time we are asked "What's your biggest fear?" and we can't really think of one. So, we just respond with "I'm not scared of ANYTHING" with a big and bad tough look on our face. But, I think that whether we know it or not, we are all scared of something. So, I decided to be vulnerable with ya'll and share my fears (many of them very irrational).

1. Being Alone- I hate the idea of being deprived of socializing. When I'm not with my friends or family, I find myself getting trapped in my own head and overthinking everything, causing me to be really, really anxious. In typical eneagram 7 fashion, that is one of the reasons I jump at any chance to socialize, because it keeps me from experience pain. My biggest fear is that one day I will have no one. No family, or friends or anyone to go through life with me. No one to take care of me, or help through life.  Now that I think about it that sounds kinda silly, because even if everyone in my life did disappear I would still have the Lord who is constant in his love, and really he is all I need. 
2. Missing Out- I have serious FOMO ya'll (fear of missing out). I hate the idea of missing out on anything good, fun, or funny. Of course, this one isn't as serious as my previous fear. Missing out on something inst something that strikes "fear" into me, but it is something that definitely concerns me, and effects my actions.
3. Hieghts- I HATE heights. Well, I hate the idea of falling from heights. Whenever I go on a balcony or on a roller coaster... I CANNOT look down!
4. Going DOWN an escalator- Okay ya'll this one is kinda funny, and I think some of it is connected to my heights issue. I am completely fine riding up an escalator, but the second I have to go back down, I freak out. Though I face this fear often, it still makes me nervous to step on to the unfolding stairs when it is time for my decent. Story Time: This weekend I was at the mall with my little bro, and told him I would ride with him up the escalator to pass time. Here is what went through my mind when I realized I had to ride down with him too:

"Oh no, I forgot I would have to ride down! Shoot. Okay Mac, you have no choice Ace is waiting on you." I peep down and imagine me missing my step and rolling down the moving staircase. My heart beats out of my chest. "Okay, you can do this." As I tentatively step off onto the silver stairs I try not to squeeze my eyes shut. "Wait, I'm not falling?! I'm not falling!!!!!" I look at Ace and smile, and then laugh at myself because I am a 14 year old girl, who is afraid of escalators.

Okay guys, I hope you enjoyed learning more about me, and probably laughing at me too (I know I did when I wrote this). When I think about the grand scheme of things, I realize that these things are nothing to be afraid of! I know God is with me through the bad and the good. I know he will always be with me, even when I'm scared! I hope ya'll know that that is the same for you. You are so loved. Next time you find yourself afraid, just pray about it, "for God did not give us a spirit of fear but of power and self control," (2 Timothy 1:7). Love you guy! Type to ya later...